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Introduction

“Happy are those whose sins are forgiven, whose wrongs are pardoned.
Happy is the one whom the LORD does not accuse of doing wrong
and who is free from all deceit.”
Psalm 32.1-2

“No one could ever forgive me. No one could ever love me. I am so ashamed of the horrific things that I’ve done in my life.” When we honestly look back on our lives, we all might have expressed these very words at times. These statements were said in anguish by a Veteran named Tommy.

When Tommy first came to our VA facility to wait for his heart transplant, he told me that he wasn’t an overly spiritual person, but stated that he’d enjoy casually talking to me. A relationship of trust and caring support developed. Three weeks after receiving his heart transplant, Tommy stated, “We need to talk.” Tommy began by saying, “I came here to get a new heart, but I do not think that my heart transplant is complete yet. Something tells me that you are the person who might help to make it complete.”

Tommy continued to tell me that he really wanted a new spiritual heart. He stated, “I want a heart that is healed of all the really awful things that I’ve been carrying around in this old heart of mine. I just got to have some peace of mind and heart.” I told him that I was certainly willing to listen to him and offer him support. Tommy then looked me straight in the eye and said, “Well, before I can consider a new heart of hope, I gotta tell you about this old evil heart ... and it is not pretty.” He stretched out his hand to me, looked me straight in the eye, and directly asked, “Are you willing to go back to Vietnam with me?” I took Tommy’s hand in mine, and replied, “Tommy, if you trust me to tell me your story, I trust you to take me on your heart’s journey back to Vietnam.”

What transpired in the following two hours was a gut-wrenching and heartfelt outpouring of locked-up stories of deep despair and painstaking memories. Tommy was a Marine sniper in Vietnam, and his horrific stories made him tremble as he recalled vivid details. After a time of sharing specifically about his time in Vietnam, Tommy stated, “But do you know what the worst hell was? It was when I came home. I just couldn’t stop fighting. I was a professionally trained killer. I couldn’t stop hating and wanting to kill.” Tommy, now with tears streaming down his face, told me of the very destructive behaviors that characterized his life here in the States after he returned home.

Finally Tommy looked at me and said, “How could anyone love me after all the evil I’ve done? Could God ever come near me and forgive me? I’m such a mess! Is it at all possible for God to forgive me and provide me with a new heart of hope, healing, and peace?”

Some of my first words were, “Oh yes, Tommy, it is in the depth of our brokenness that God meets us.” I affirmed to Tommy that God is near to the broken-hearted, and is able to bring peace to the most evil of hearts. Tommy and I continued to talk of God as the spiritual cardiologist who takes our disgusting old hearts and transplants a new heart of lovingkindness inside us. In the time that I spent with Tommy, we took each one of the bad heart-throbbing memories and gave it to God to forgive and remove from Tommy. Then we took God’s words of healing, forgiveness, and hope, and claimed these words of truth as the new heartbeats by which Tommy would live his life. What a joy it was to hear Tommy tell of his spiritual heart transplant and the healing that had taken place in his life.

In this booklet, we’ll consider if God is disappointed in us when we do wrong, how we confess our wrongs to God, and how to affirm God’s forgiveness.

Chapter 1: Is God Disappointed in Me When I Have Done Wrong?

“If you kept a record of our sins, who could escape being condemned?
But you forgive us, so that we should stand in awe of you.”
Psalm 130.3-4

When we reflect on our moral failures, we may wonder what God thinks of us and fear that God may not accept us. Perhaps you can relate to some of the following remorseful statements of Tommy.

“Chaplain, I lost my faith in Vietnam. In fact, I thought God died in Vietnam. Now, I’d like to believe in God. I really want to have a relationship with God. Yet, I’m so afraid.”

“Of what are you afraid, Tommy?”

“That God will reject me. After Vietnam, I made a mess of my life. One huge mistake after another. No one, including God, could forgive me.”

“Tommy, so you think that your mistakes are greater than God’s power to forgive?”

“Yes, I do.”

“Well, I’ll share with you what someone once told me. I was once told that when I refuse to accept God’s forgiveness for my wrongdoing, I am usurping God’s position of pardoning sinful behaviors. When I refuse to believe that God desires to forgive me, I am really telling God that God’s loving mercy is not powerful enough to forgive me.”

“Wow. I never thought of how I am limiting God when I fear God is not able to forgive me and accept me.”

Over time, Tommy learned to see God as a loving, heavenly parent who longs to embrace us and assure us of complete forgiveness, mercy, and love when we seek it. In the Bible, we have a beautiful story of a waiting father. In this account, when the father saw his son returning home, his son surely didn’t look like he did when he left home. He didn’t smell like he did when he left home. When the father saw the son, he overcame the hurtful things that were said when the son left. He forgave the wasted resources. The father’s love prevailed through all the lonely, heartbroken days while the son was away. He rejoiced that his son was safe and home! When the son humbly approached his father’s home and the father saw him, the father ran swiftly in excitement to meet him and he kissed him repeatedly. Why all the excitement? Because the father had carried this boy in his heart since he left home. Now, he didn’t have to hold a memory, he could embrace the reality. His prayers had been answered, and he ran to meet his son. He hugged him and kissed him over and over again!

When we take a step of faith toward God, it is as if God responds by taking a great leap toward us. An ancient eastern proverb says: “Who draws near to me an inch, I will draw near to him a mile; and who so walks to meet me, I will leap to meet him!” James 4:8 puts it this way, “Come near to God, and he will come near to you.”

Readings from the Old Testament/Hebrew Scriptures

God desires us to confess our wrongdoing.

When you are guilty, you must confess the sin.
Leviticus 5.5

There is a positive outcome when we confess our wrongdoing to God.

“Yes, I have sinned,” Saul replied. “I disobeyed the LORD’s command
and your instructions. I was afraid of my men and did what they wanted.
But now I beg you, forgive my sin and go back with me,
so that I can worship the LORD.”
1 Samuel 15.24,25

Apart from God, our hearts are wicked.

Sin speaks to the wicked deep in their hearts;
they reject God and do not have reverence for him.
Psalm 36.1

As a result of God’s forgiveness and mercy, we are urged to follow the teachings of God’s Law and obey them always.

How can young people keep their lives pure?
By obeying your commands.
With all my heart I try to serve you;
keep me from disobeying your commandments.
I keep your law in my heart,
so that I will not sin against you.
I praise you, O LORD; teach me your ways.
I will repeat aloud all the laws you have given.
I delight in following your commands
more than in having great wealth.
I study your instructions;
I examine your teachings.
I take pleasure in your laws;
your commands I will not forget.
Be good to me, your servant,
so that I may live and obey your teachings.
Open my eyes, so that I may see
the wonderful truths in your law.
I am here on earth for just a little while;
do not hide your commands from me.
My heart aches with longing;
I want to know your judgments at all times.
Psalm 119.9-20

Readings from the New Testament

Christ has covered all of our wrongdoing with his sacrificial death and resurrection.

For when we were still helpless, Christ died
for the wicked at the time that God chose. It is a
difficult thing for someone to die for a righteous
person. It may even be that someone might dare
to die for a good person. But God has shown us
how much he loves us—it was while we were
still sinners that Christ died for us! By his blood
we are now put right with God; how much more,
then, will we be saved by him from God’s anger!
We were God’s enemies, but he made us his
friends through the death of his Son. Now that
we are God’s friends, how much more will we
be saved by Christ’s life! But that is not all; we
rejoice because of what God has done through
our Lord Jesus Christ, who has now made us
God’s friends.

Sin came into the world through one man,
and his sin brought death with it. As a result,
death has spread to the whole human race
because everyone has sinned. There was sin in
the world before the Law was given; but where
there is no law, no account is kept of sins. But
from the time of Adam to the time of Moses,
death ruled over all human beings, even over
those who did not sin in the same way that Adam
did when he disobeyed God’s command.

Adam was a figure of the one who was to
come. But the two are not the same, because
God’s free gift is not like Adam’s sin. It is true
that many people died because of the sin of that
one man. But God’s grace is much greater, and
so is his free gift to so many people through the
grace of the one man, Jesus Christ. And there
is a difference between God’s gift and the sin of
one man. After the one sin, came the judgment
of “Guilty”; but after so many sins, comes the
undeserved gift of “Not guilty!” It is true that
through the sin of one man death began to rule
because of that one man. But how much greater
is the result of what was done by the one man,
Jesus Christ! All who receive God’s abundant
grace and are freely put right with him will rule
in life through Christ.

So then, as the one sin condemned all people,
in the same way the one righteous act sets all
people free and gives them life. And just as all
people were made sinners as the result of the
disobedience of one man, in the same way they
will all be put right with God as the result of the
obedience of the one man.

Law was introduced in order to increase
wrongdoing; but where sin increased, God’s
grace increased much more. So then, just as sin
ruled by means of death, so also God’s grace
rules by means of righteousness, leading us to
eternal life through Jesus Christ our Lord.
Romans 5.6-21

We all have sinned; we can’t kid ourselves.

If we say that we have no sin, we deceive
ourselves, and there is no truth in us. But if we
confess our sins to God, he will keep his promise
and do what is right: he will forgive us our sins
and purify us from all our wrongdoing. If we say
that we have not sinned, we make a liar of God,
and his word is not in us.
1 John 1.8-10

Christ is our advocate when we seek God’s forgiveness.

I am writing this to you, my children, so that
you will not sin; but if anyone does sin, we have
someone who pleads with the Father on our
behalf—Jesus Christ, the righteous one. And
Christ himself is the means by which our sins are
forgiven, and not our sins only, but also the sins
of everyone.
1 John 2.1-2

Thoughts for Reflection

1. When is it easy to be honest with yourself and with God about your mistakes and bad judgments? When is it more difficult?
2. What things in your life bring about a feeling of guilt? What do you do with this guilt? What do you think would happen if you talked with God about these things, asking God to forgive you?
3. The Bible teaches us that God will not reject you when you do wrong and confess your wrongdoing to God. Write about your personal and private reaction to that statement.
4. Draw or paint a picture or describe your image of God embracing you as a beloved child.

Prayer

Dear God, when I do wrong, many times I want to hide just like Adam and Eve. I want to hide from you and everyone else. In fear, I want to run away and deny what I’ve done. Yet, I cannot hide from you.

You know my heart, my life, and all that I have done. You do not expect me to be perfect, but instead to trust your mercies which are new each morning.

Please, help me to trust you. Help me understand that you know all about me, and that you love me in spite of my wrongdoing.

In your loving name. Amen.

Next: Chapter 2: How Do I Confess My Wrongdoing to God? »