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Chapter 3: When Despair Clouds Our View of God

“I ask God from the wealth of his glory to give you power
through his Spirit to be strong in your inner selves,
and I pray that Christ will make his home in your hearts
through faith.”
Ephesians 3.16-17a

When we are in deep despair, we feel totally insignificant and might even question the existence of God. In the situation with John, I fervently prayed after our first meeting and asked God how I could help him discover a meaningful purpose for his life. As I prayed, I felt the Holy Spirit speak to me about asking John to be my “teacher” in helping me better understand his experiences in Iraq and what it is like to live with an unexplainable seizure disorder caused by a TBI. The Holy Spirit seemed to say to me, “Due to your crippling condition and surgeries in your childhood and adolescence, you were denied medical waivers several times when wanting to serve in our armed forces. You are not a Veteran, you’ve not been to Iraq, you do not have a TBI causing an unexplainable seizure disorder, but John does. He can help you better understand.”

I realized what the Holy Spirit wanted me to understand was that instead of trying to come as the chaplain who could minister out of my strength to John, God wanted me to humble myself and raise John to a position where he could be the one with the voice of authority. He could be the one to help me and other team members better understand his condition and experiences. From my own despairing moments, when I was powerless and had no voice over my care … I knew that what John needed was a voice and a purpose. I asked John to be my teacher and encouraged other staff to ask him to teach them as well. Saying to John, “We want to learn from you, help us understand…” gave him a purpose, and gave his life meaning. Empowering John to believe that he had a meaningful purpose in helping all of us (doctors, nurses, social workers, and chaplains) better understand and learn from him … brought hope to his life.

As I patiently sat and genuinely learned from John, he came to realize that God is not an aloof entity. He realized that God is deeply concerned

about him and values his life as significant. God does care for each of us personally, and the Bible affirms that God calls us beloved children.

Readings from the Old Testament/Hebrew Scriptures

We must believe that God is advocating for us.

But I know there is someone in heaven
who will come at last to my defense.
Even after my skin is eaten by disease,
while still in this body I will see God.
I will see him with my own eyes,
and he will not be a stranger.
Job 19.25-27a

When we feel abandoned by God, we need to cry with confidence to God to draw near to us.

How much longer will you forget me, LORD?
Forever?
How much longer will you hide yourself from me?
How long must I endure trouble?
How long will sorrow fill my heart day and night?
How long will my enemies triumph over me?

Look at me, O LORD my God, and answer me.
Restore my strength; don’t let me die.
Don’t let my enemies say, “We have defeated him.”
Don’t let them gloat over my downfall.

I rely on your constant love;
I will be glad, because you will rescue me.
I will sing to you, O LORD,
because you have been good to me.
Psalm 13

God will never abandon us, nor forsake us.

The LORD is my light and my salvation;
I will fear no one.
The LORD protects me from all danger;
I will never be afraid

...

I have asked the LORD for one thing;
one thing only do I want:
to live in the LORD’s house all my life,
to marvel there at his goodness,
and to ask for his guidance.
In times of trouble he will shelter me;
he will keep me safe in his Temple
and make me secure on a high rock.

...

Hear me, LORD, when I call to you!
Be merciful and answer me!
When you said, “Come worship me,”
I answered, “I will come, LORD.”
Don’t hide yourself from me!

Don’t be angry with me;
don’t turn your servant away.
You have been my help;
don’t leave me, don’t abandon me,
O God, my savior.
My father and mother may abandon me,
but the LORD will take care of me.
Psalm 27.1,4-5,7-10

Readings from the New Testament

God desires to fill us with joy.

“And now I am coming to you, and I say these
things in the world so that they might have my
joy in their hearts in all its fullness.”
John 17.13

There is nothing that can ever separate us from the unconditional love of God.

I consider that what we suffer at this present
time cannot be compared at all with the glory
that is going to be revealed to us. All of creation
waits with eager longing for God to reveal his
children. For creation was condemned to lose
its purpose, not of its own will, but because God
willed it to be so. Yet there was the hope that
creation itself would one day be set free from its
slavery to decay and would share the glorious
freedom of the children of God. For we know
that up to the present time all of creation groans
with pain, like the pain of childbirth. But it is not
just creation alone which groans; we who have
the Spirit as the first of God’s gifts also groan
within ourselves as we wait for God to make us
his children and set our whole being free. For it
was by hope that we were saved; but if we see
what we hope for, then it is not really hope. For
who of us hopes for something we see? But if we
hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with
patience.

In the same way the Spirit also comes to help
us, weak as we are. For we do not know how
we ought to pray; the Spirit himself pleads with
God for us in groans that words cannot express.
And God, who sees into our hearts, knows what
the thought of the Spirit is; because the Spirit
pleads with God on behalf of his people and in
accordance with his will.

We know that in all things God works for
good with those who love him, those whom
he has called according to his purpose. Those
whom God had already chosen he also set apart
to become like his Son, so that the Son would
be the first among many believers. And so those
whom God set apart, he called; and those he
called, he put right with himself, and he shared
his glory with them.

In view of all this, what can we say? If God
is for us, who can be against us? Certainly
not God, who did not even keep back his own
Son, but offered him for us all! He gave us his
Son—will he not also freely give us all things?
Who will accuse God’s chosen people? God
himself declares them not guilty! Who, then, will
condemn them? Not Christ Jesus, who died, or
rather, who was raised to life and is at the right
side of God, pleading with him for us! Who,
then, can separate us from the love of Christ?
Can trouble do it, or hardship or persecution or
hunger or poverty or danger or death? As the
scripture says,
“For your sake we are in danger
of death at all times;
we are treated like sheep that
are going to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we have complete victory
through him who loved us! For I am certain that
nothing can separate us from his love: neither
death nor life, neither angels nor other heavenly
rulers or powers, neither the present nor the
future, neither the world above nor the world
below — there is nothing in all creation that will
ever be able to separate us from the love of God
which is ours through Christ Jesus our Lord.
Romans 8.18-39

God deeply desires to fill us with hope.

And again, Isaiah says,
“A descendant of Jesse will appear;
he will come to rule the Gentiles,
and they will put their hope in him.”
May God, the source of hope, fill you with all joy
and peace by means of your faith in him, so that
your hope will continue to grow by the power of
the Holy Spirit.
Romans 15.12,13

God is able to do immeasurably more than we can ever ask or dream or imagine.

For this reason I fall on my knees before
the Father, from whom every family in heaven
and on earth receives its true name. I ask God
from the wealth of his glory to give you power
through his Spirit to be strong in your inner
selves, and I pray that Christ will make his home
in your hearts through faith. I pray that you may
have your roots and foundation in love, so that
you, together with all God’s people, may have
the power to understand how broad and long,
how high and deep, is Christ’s love. Yes, may you
come to know his love – although it can never be
fully known – and so be completely filled with
the very nature of God.

To him who by means of his power working in
us is able to do so much more than we can ever
ask for, or even think of: to God be the glory
in the church and in Christ Jesus for all time,
forever and ever! Amen.
Ephesians 3.14-21

Thoughts for Reflection

1. Draw a picture of where you feel God is in relation to you now. As you are able, share what you would like to change about how close or how distant you feel from God.
2. Write or share of a time when you truly knew that God’s presence was with you in a very dark place of despair.
3. Describe what would make you feel more aware of God’s abiding presence with you.
4. Write or share how God desires to exceed the expectations you have for yourself.

Prayer

Dear Lord, I wonder where you are. Are you there? Are you out there somewhere? And do you care? Do you care for me at all? Do you know my name?

Many times I feel like crying, “My God, my God, why have you forsaken me? Why?” Help me to believe that you are not only real, but that you are here for me, and that you really care for me. Help me to feel your loving-care and to believe that you will never leave me, nor forsake me, and will abide with me always.

Be near me, please. Hold me, cradle me, and shelter me. Embrace me for all eternity with your love. In your loving name. Amen.

A Blessing for You

May the LORD bless you and take care of you;
May the LORD be kind and gracious to you;
May the LORD look on you with favor and give you peace.
Numbers 6.24-26